Do What You Have to Do Until You Can Do What You Want To Do – Oprah

Image provided by & Mari Carmen Guinovart

Image provided by & Mari Carmen Guinovart

The beginning of 2016 has been extremely busy for me. I’ve been seeing my physical therapist, I’ve found a new psychiatrist, and an endocrinologist. The psychiatrist got me to admit that I had been lying to everyone about how I’m doing. For months now the only words that adequately describe how I feel is ‘incredibly sad.’ The problem is I have no reason to be sad. So, we started working on changing my meds. Now, I’m incredibly tired and unmotivated.

Why did I hide my deteriorating condition? Some might think it’s low self-esteem or fear. The truth is that I don’t want people to worry about me. Everyone has problems and it just seems selfish to add mine to theirs. I’ve always tried to be stronger than I actually am. While I’ve learned to cast my worries on Christ, my brain is wired wrong and I need help getting the electrical connections functioning sometimes.

While I shouldn’t have waited so long to alert someone to the problem at least I didn’t wait until I started feeling hopeless. Incredibly sad is manageable, believe me. Hopeless is harder to come back from. The adjustment time is frustrating, but necessary.

So, it will take a few more weeks before I get back into the swing of writing each day, but I will get there. I plan to submit my finished poems and short stories to contests and publications each month. I’ll jot notes and write scenes every chance I get (when I’m awake), and I’ll continue to critique my writing groups work.

Yes, 2016 has gotten off to a slow start, but I still believe it will be a good year.

  • Michele Jones

    Missy, thanks for sharing. I am always available if you want to chat.

  • I’m so sorry it’s gotten so bad for you. I’m glad you’ve reached out, though. I’m sending you good, healing thoughts.

  • I’m here however you need me, Missy. And wishing you all the best.

    • Thanks, Staci. I know I can count on you. You’re pure awesome.

      • Well, gee. That’s the nicest thing I’ve heard all month. Thanks. And right back at ‘cha. 🙂