Add a Little Lovin’ to Your Writing

Pat Carr at the 2013 Ozark Creative Writers conference

Pat Carr at the 2013 Ozark Creative Writers conference

Hands down, Pat Carr was the best speaker at the Ozark Creative Writers conference. Her body of work is impressive and her awards numerous. She not only spoke, she taught. Over the next few blog posts, I’ll share some of the wisdom she imparted.

One of the first things she spoke of was love. She encouraged us to put more love into our work. Not sex scenes per se, but love in general. Show it. Love between friends, between family, romantic love and platonic love. The world needs more LOVE!

She shared this list of 12 Steps for intimacy, which she admitted to taking from someone else (Desmond Morris):

  1. Eye to body
  2. Eye to eye
  3. Voice to voice
  4. Hand to hand
  5. Arm to shoulder
  6. Arm to waist
  7. Face to face (includes kissing)
  8. Hand to head
  9. Hand to body
  10. Mouth to body
  11. Hand to genitals
  12. Genitals to genitals


Just do a search and you’ll find tons of blog posts about this list. The ones here and here are really good if you write romance.

I think this list can be useful for other types of intimacy. For instance a father could put his arm around his son’s shoulder as a show of support. A woman could cup her friend’s cheek and tell her everything is going to be all right.

Intimacy is more than just sex and I think keeping this list in mind while constructing scenes with emotional impact can only make your writing stronger.